She Says To Fly

Talking To The Wall

Saturday, June 25, 2011

I wonder if anyone actually reads my blog. sometimes i feel like nobody cares. let me know if you read this.

11:09 AM

Promotion

Well, yesterday was the day... Many of my friends got promoted to 3rd sergeant rank. oklabye im still stuck in the corner.

rushed down from camp with Boo and tried to call a cab... waited for a good half hour before we actually confirm one coming... 2 bars of battery on my phone gone... when we reached the parade, we made it just in time to see the last golden bayonet return to his contingent, then after that was to go down and wear the ranks for our friends! we were that late!!! haha but lucky we still got there in the nick of time...

sigh.. seeing them get the rank change... i felt happy for them.. and proud... but then there was another feeling that i tagged along... awkwardness.. i was like the only person on that parade square who was not qualified to be standing there... everyone running around, taking pictures, living their moment, and me, a private who failed my ippt, kinda extra and out of place.

will this change how the friendship lasts? will there be the invisible line? maybe not to you, but i may be the only one who see it. try to make me NOT see it... better yet, try to make me cross it...

10:56 AM

Congratulations, Transport!

Friday, June 17, 2011

My heartiest congratulations to my friends Aron, wei Xiang, long feng, Attlee, Dennis, ding and all others who turned corporal this week and will turn 3rd sergeant next week... And to those who enlist in November, Mingkai and all, don't be too down ur turn will come... I don't know if I can say the same for me or not... Failed ippt, I go to CAT term to make a mockery out of myself. I left gedong as a private to get promoted, I'll return to gedong as a private. Laughing stock. True story.

Anyway to my friends I've mentioned and if u read this, I can't believe you all are no longer privates.. I can't believe that in a few days I will have to call u sgt... We've toiled hard together, but some didn't make it through... Just don't forget me... And don't play rank around me... U know I hate being left out right... Well if we're friends enough you wouldn't anyway...

8:11 PM

Weekend

Sunday, June 05, 2011

It was nice to meet up with the Tpt clique over the weekend.. Or what's left of it of who bothered... And also Brian jj hiro and Ezra!! To celebrate jun's 21st!!

7:29 PM

The King Has Donkey Ears

Thursday, June 02, 2011

That's it! I shall give a nickname "blowing the reed flute" as a metaphor of "I have just blogged"!!!

Why, u may ask?

The legend from ancient Greek mythology of King Midas. There are many versions, but I recall the one I know of as a little kid.

King Midas did some stupid stuff that made the gods grant him donkey ears. Embarrassed, he hid them in a tall crown that nobody would see them.

Nobody, it seems, except for his barber, as the crown was to be removed when the the king had his haircut. The king made the barber promise that he was to keep the secret to himself, else the death of his own.

The barber did his best to hold it in, but one day he just couldnt keep it any more. he dug a hole in the ground and whispered into the earth. But he forgot that the earth was of woman and could never keep secrets.

Next spring, on the plot of land where the hole was dug before, a bed of reeds grew. A passing musician took a rest at beside the reeds, and choose the biggest, sturdiest reed and made it into a flute. The flute played music so beautiful that could make even the biggest of grown men's hearts melt.

Word got out of his music and the musician's name spread all the way to the palace of King Midas. King Midas wanted to hear the music for himself, and invited the musician to the palace to play for him.

when the musician arrived and started to play for the king, a strange voice started to sing "The King has donkey ears! The King has donkey ears!". The king was appalled but public pressure started to grow and demanded for him remove his crown to show them if he did or not have donkey ears.

the king unwillingly removed his crown to the gasp of many. but after a moment of silence, the crowd started to accept him and his ears, for they loved him as their king and not for his looks.

The morale of the story: See with your heart

ok i admit i got tired of typing out the story so i just ended it quickly. hehhh..

yea.. and hence, any references to "blowing a reed flute" or"whispering to the ground" or those sorts just means i just blogged. :)

5:55 PM

Lonely

I've been given 2 days off. No need to go camp. Long weekend. But what's it for? It's useless when no one is at home. Mom is in china, brother's flying off to Bangkok. My best friends are in camp, and even if they have off tomorrow also, what's the point? When they have postings together but I'll be somewhat alone in a far off, secluded place?

I'm lonely. No family no friends beside me. Dropped from a real high to a real low.

2:30 PM

I need to pour this out

Wednesday, June 01, 2011

I'm typing here hoping no one will read this and know but i just want to let it out.

well once again, its been almost a whole year (less 18 days to be exact) since i last posted... i almost forgot who i was talking about in the previous post...

anywhos, i got my posting today to my new camp. mixed feelings. i know that it is not so bad, but it is definitely not the popular choice because of its distance away from civilisation. probably 10 billion light years from the nearest shopping mall...

and when i found out about my good friends' postings, and that they actually managed to choose somehow, and they've all got good heartland locations so near their own house, i think im jealous.

i dont want to confine my life to the jungles of where i'll be posted to. going home or anywhere else for that matter is a bitch. as so my brother has experienced for very much of his own NS life. and he has told me that my job there is not easy. taxing, in fact. due to the heavy traffic that is required at that particular camp. that sucks. big time.

not helping.

sigh. i dont know la. this whole week seems so abrupt that somehow there was comfort in knowing what my posting was. i know i know this just contradicts everything i said before. hear me out.

after summary exercise last week we were all so high and bonded as a course already, not only just the trainees, but also with the trainers. then came graduation on monday, we were all aware that time was short but we still lived life to the fullest anyways. tuesday came, so did our last ippt. i failed my sbj by 4cm. bummer. that also smeared the CAT term chances. did i mention tuesday was the last official day together? so i was emoing, that the wonderful time weve had, the best 5 months ive had in years, had to come to an end.

and i took it hard.

and then we had the news that our posting orders were out, and we had to report to our new units the very next day (today). which ultimately spelt the end to our time together. confirm. worse news: i was posted to a unit without anyone of my other 7 clique members. out of 3 possible units, not one with me. fml.

then also came today when we were further posted to our camps that we supporting. i got my news of the dreaded camp. but by now i was so mentally and emotionally exhausted, i just want to get it over and done with. just tell me my new camp and let me go.

yea. so it was like that. tired. and lonely. and jealous, that while others have their best friends beside them, i'm all alone. ok maybe i got KC with me, but he's leaving halfway...

nuff said, tired.

maybe i should restart this blog heh?

10:30 PM

Shocked, Disappointed, But Nothing To Do But To Suck Thumb.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

i just discovered something shocking today. something very big in someone elses life, and has nothing to do with me. but in such situations, if you are his good friend, you would show concern.

and for me to find out this way, i'm sorry, it is my fault. ur reaction shocked me and puzzled me at first.

but i must say i am disappointed that you chose to keep it quiet... what are friends for? since 5 days ago?! and you came back and did not tell us?! mad much!

but you must have your reasons. and as your friend, i shall honour that. i shall not tell the rest about what i found out.

and i must apologize to you again, for what i did was rather wrong of me. there's nothing much i can do, now that i know only after everything is over. you also dont talk to me often... all i can do is to offer you an open door if in any case u need someone, somewhere to pour out into. so, yes, my gates are open... dont need to hide behind that chauvinist mask, and let it out if you need to. everyone is weak inside, i understand and as a good friend, i will not judge you. i'll be there for you, cos u're there for me too...

selfish, i have been in the past, and i just realised it, when our roles were switched. ur mouth opened. mine didnt. so so sorry. i'll make amends by offering myself to be a pillar of support for you if you need.

sigh...

u know who u are when u read this, if you ever read this.

1:49 AM

Surprise!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

OMG JJ called~!! surprise!!!

and i'm glad to know he did... cos i found out that brian told him there was something wrong with me, and that i've been down the past few days... so despite bein so tired, jj cared n called me to se how i wsa doing..

Thanks Jun!!!

8:00 PM